Life After Army

Wow, the last time I blogged was before I went to india... I'm not a prolific writter, not a writter at all... Anyway, I've been on leave since I returned from India, I would only need to return to camp whenever I have SOC, cos I haven't passed my SOC, and I am now serving my last medical duty. In the past week, and in the days ahead, I will have more time at home to do everything I dreamt of doing back when I was stuck in camp.

However, I'm beginning to feel that once you cross over to the other side, you realise that the grass is not as green as you once thought. I've wanted for a long time to return to my alma matar to teach. When I was in the army, (I still am in the army, I haven't ORDed, but now I'm starting to taste freedom) and saw my sister teaching during her 6 months break between JC and university, I thought "I can't wait to be free from NS so that I can work as a relief teacher just like my sister." Now it seems that even though I am out of NS, I'd still not be able to realise this wish as the schools no longer need relief teachers. Sigh...

My greatest fear is that after I ORD I'd not spend my time meaningfully. I've already wasted a whole two years in NS, and I attribute the waste to my lack of freedom to choose what I want to pursue. And now, when I am granted the freedom, I lack the opportunity.

In the army, I experienced the feeling of being made to do things I utterly detest, and being unappreciated at that. Then, I really longed to be able to do something that I enjoyed, and which would benefit others. The result is that the work would be done well because I am good at it and I enjoy the process, while at the receiving end, the recipient would also benefit from my labour. And it'll be mutually benificial to both parties. I guess that was what Solomen meant when he said in Ecc 2:24

A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God,

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At the moment, I'm looking out for such opportunities to occupy my available time. I hope that I'd eventually find a vacancy in a school. I also wish to put my admin and computer skills (or whatever little programing knowledge)to use, I'm hopeing to do it either in church or at REACH. And in doing so further hone my skills.

Ok, though I may be sounding very pessimistic about such a joyful, liberating occasion that is my ORD, there has been a few concrete, meaningful tasks which i am already pursuing. I've begun taking driving lessons, and I'm hopeing to pass it before my pdl expires in August. And I've also found a few tuition opportunities. But I still wish to try my hand at some mainstream work.

Ahhh!!! I'm just jotting down random thoughts, and verbalising my apprehension about ORDing... Or just feeling very bored doing duty on a Sunday, and writing a very long entry to make up for the lack of posts in the past month...

In the words of repeated monotony, blah!