Life in 2 Weeks...

The Reality: In 2 weeks time, my life would be drastically different!
The Reaction: Nay... Nil... Nothing... Numbness...

I don't know... ever since NS, I feel that nothing really excites me anymore... I feel like I'm going through life the same way I bash through the forest behind my PS: mindlessly following him, not feeling anything, not anticipating anything... Just overcoming the obstacles that come my way, and moving forward...

Occassionally I glimpse myself doing things in Cambridge, and I go through a quick spasm when I realise that that's going to be my reality in 2 weeks time. But, most other time, I'm still quite emotionally oblivous to the fact that I'm going to Cambridge... K-K-K-KAMBRIDGE leh! Like, the father of modern mathematics did his work there, Stephen Hawkings is there, I'm going there, and I don't feel the least bit excited?!?!

2 weeks seems so damn near! 2 Weeks before POP'ed, I was beginning to pack my belongings from the cupboard. Way before the second last week of school, I was feeling nostelgic, and telling myself to cherish the time I'm spending in the school with my friends, and teachers... 2 weeks before army, I was depressed and dreading the prospect of a grim, uncertain, tough two years.

But 2 weeks before I ORD'ed, I was numb... I was just doing everything I need to (clearance, ffi, etc...), to reclaim the symbol of my freedom, my pink IC... And now 2 weeks before embarking on something as exciting, and out-of-this-world as going to Cambridge, I am as numb, just doing everything that needs to be done...

It must be army... Ah-mee killed my senses... Or maybe it's because I'm walking alone... and there's no one else to resonate in excitement with... The past 3 months, I've had this sense of being an observer... I've been doing all these things, teaching, going for events, crashing lectures, but I feel detached from the system I'm in, feels like I don't belong anywhere... When I'm in class, the teacher is the odd one out. When I crash lectures, I feel like I don't belong there, and I don't face the same problems as the other people in the lecture, like having to understand the lecture. When I go for freshers events, I don't really know anyone there, and because I never expected that I'll be going to Cambridge, I feel like I don't really belong there... And when I went for the Saints Reunion Dinner, I had this really awkward feeling of being an observer. I wasn't a councillor, and I was sitting among them, everyone around me looked strangely familiar, but I did not know them. I felt nostelgic even though there wasn't really anyone there whom I shared common momories with, none of my classmates were there... It was as if I was a ghost just absorbing everything that went on at the event, without really interacting with anyone there... Really weird... I hope it changes when I begin life in Cam...

Anyway, this is my idea of what my life would be like over there:

My Routine

Daily:

1. Wake Up
   
2. Wash Up
3. Prepare Breakfast & Lunch
• Breakfast: Cereal with Milk
• Lunch: Sandwich
4. Attend Lecture
5. Do Homework
6. Misc Stuff: weekly stuff, surf net, etc...
7. Do Dinner/Formal Hall
   
8. Wash Up
9. Manage Finance, Plan for Next Day...
   
10. QT
    

Weekly:

1. Laundry
2. Grocery Shopping
3. Telly Finance
4. Exercise, at least that's my resolution...
5. Church

I see myself arriving at the airport on the first day with lots of freshers and seniors, and another image of alighting at the central bus station, and dragging my luggage all the way to my college. Then waiting at the main college building, and going to my room, and meeting the guy staying opposite me. Beyond that it's quite blur... Maybe that's the reason I'm not very excited, cos there's nothing much I'm really anticipating...

Ah well, I guess I'll just let life unfold itself... And hopefully somewhere along the way, my emotions will be revived...